Writing Home

My grandmother Yew Choy enlisted the help of a professional letter writer to keep in touch with the sisters she left behind in China. This blogpost re-creates a visit to the se seon lou, as recalled by my mother.

 

George Town, Penang – 1952

“What are you both looking at? Walk faster!”

Yew Choy called to her young daughters Ah Thiew and Ah Moy who were trailing behind her. They had stopped by the side of the busy road to watch a food hawker toss egg noodles in soy sauce and sesame oil to make their favourite tok-tok meen.  After one last sniff, the girls hurried to join their mother under the umbrella she held aloft as shelter from the bright morning sun.

A few minutes later, they ducked into a five-foot way, a covered sidewalk that connected a row of shophouses. They walked in the cool shade until they came to a wooden table and several stools. These were set against the wall of a shophouse, on which hung several red scrolls with black Chinese characters. An elderly Chinese man sat on one of the stools, reading.  When he saw Yew Choy and her daughters approaching, he put down his newspaper to look at them through his dark-rimmed glasses.

“What can I do for you today?” the se seon lou asked. He pulled a sheaf of blank paper on the table towards him.

Yew Choy lowered herself onto one of the stools and faced the man, waiting patiently as he set up his writing equipment. Her young daughters watched as the letter writer poured a few drops of water into a worn ink stone. He took a soot-black ink stick, dipping it in the water before making circular movements to create a pool of dark liquid. This he did several times until he was happy with the ink’s consistency, before picking up a slim writing brush. He looked at Yew Choy expectantly.

“Could you please write a letter to my sisters in China, since the New Year is coming round,” she began.

“Please ask them how they are. Another year has come, please tell them I’m sending them some money for the New Year.”

“Tell them we are fine,” Yew Choy continued, staring into the distance over the man’s shoulder.  He nodded, oblivious to the two pairs of young eyes watching him as he flicked his ink-dipped brush, creating elegant strokes that filled sheets of white paper with black characters.

“Ah Kou Toi and Ah Swee are doing well in school,” Yew Choy went on, referring to her two older sons. “And so is Ah Thiew, although the teacher says she needs to work harder. Ah Moy has just started in kindergarten this year.” Nine-year-old Ah Thiew listened in fascination, her head resting on her hands. It was as if her mother was having a neighbourly chat with the man as she narrated the family’s news to be included in the letter.

As her mother’s voice droned on, Ah Thiew began to fidget.  She looked around for her sister and found six-year-old Ah Moy standing behind Yew Choy, watching the traffic on the road. Cyclists in straw hats streamed past men on trishaws pedalling laboriously as they carried their passengers to their destinations. A few cars drove by, and Ah Thiew wrinkled her nose as she caught a whiff of the exhaust fumes mingled with the dry smell of dust. She turned away to study the red scrolls on the wall. They were Spring couplets; wishes for the new year designed to be placed on both sides of one’s front door with a horizontal verse above the door frame.

Tilting her head from side to side, Ah Thiew tried to read the Chinese characters on the scrolls. She called Ah Moy over, but the girls couldn’t make sense of them. They looked like drawings instead of the writing Ah Thiew and Ah Moy learnt at school, the English-language convent they attended in George Town. Neither had been taught how to read and write Chinese as their parents were semi-literate, like many Chinese immigrants in Malaya. Yew Choy knew just enough to follow the news in the local paper while Thong Foo could use the abacus to keep track of his stock at his goldsmith workshop. Both relied on scribes like this se seon loufor any formal writing.

There were many such professional letter writers in George Town, mainly older Chinese men who could be found along the five-foot ways of shophouses. Their services were valued by migrants eager to maintain a connection with their homeland, from the coolies who worked on construction sites to the amah and ma jie domestic workers. The se seon lou didn’t just write letters but also read the ones received by their customers, and composed couplets for the Chinese New Year as well as marriage invitations and certificates. Yew Choy visited this particular letter writer at least once a year when she wanted to correspond with her sisters.

Once the letter was ready, the se seon lou placed it in an envelope and wrote out the address he had been given, before handing it over to Yew Choy in exchange for his fee. Thanking him, she tucked the letter into her purse. She then called to her daughters as she pushed open her umbrella, its waxed paper canopy unfurling noisily.

As the three of them began their walk home, Ah Thiew tugged at her mother’s sleeve.

“Can we stop for some tok-tok meen?”

 

 Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

Remembering Por-Por

A portrait of my maternal grandmother drawn from memories, photographs and her diamond ring

They wink at me as they catch the light, like stars flickering in the night sky. Five small diamonds encased in a gold ring, shining brilliantly against the row of matte green jade on another ring I’ve pushed right down to the base of my little finger.

I rub my thumb over the rings; my maternal grandfather, who was a goldsmith, had made them.

“Kong-Kong used some lower-quality gemstones his clients didn’t want,” my mother tells me as she squints at the rings. I can feel their heft on my finger; at least he didn’t skimp on the gold.

“I remember this one!”

I point to the jade ring, which used to adorn my mother’s fourth finger along with her platinum wedding band. In my memory, I see Mum reaching into the hedge between our house and our neighbours to retrieve this very ring, and a much younger version of myself standing by, looking worried. Was this from seeing the angry red scratches on Mum’s hand when it re-emerged from the thorny bushes? Or from fear that I would be scolded for playing with it and losing it?

But I had never seen the diamond ring before. It had belonged to Por-Por, my maternal grandmother. Now it sits snugly on my little finger, barely moving when I try twisting it. I marvel at how petite she must have been.

I have very vague memories of Por-Por, who passed away from nasopharyngeal cancer when she was 55. She and Kong-Kong lived in Penang, but regularly made the overnight journey on the sleeper train to visit us in Kuala Lumpur. I was always happy to see her, Mum tells me, recalling how I would run to my grandmother the moment she arrived at our door.  I hear a firm yet gentle voice calling me to eat my rice; was that Por-Por?

My grandmother died barely a month after my fourth birthday and my younger brother’s first. My youngest brother was born three years later and never had a chance to meet her. I remember being at Por-Por’s funeral, sitting behind my father, rubbing my face against the soft jersey cotton of his T-shirt as I tried to hide from the deafening din of drums and clanging cymbals, and the sword-waving Taoist priest jumping around a ferocious fire. He was just doing his job, trying to ward off evil spirits, but my toddler brain probably thought he was coming for me next.

My grandmother felt very present in our lives while we were growing up. She appeared in the many stories Mum told us of her childhood in colonial Penang; Por-Por taking my mother and her three siblings to school in a trishaw on rainy days; disciplining them with the cane whenever they misbehaved; buying their favourite tok-tok meen from the food hawker cycling past their home, announcing his presence by making his trademark tok-tok sound with a bamboo stick against a bowl.

Por-Por stares at me from a handful of monochrome photographs, her eyes soft, her slender neck half-concealed by the high collar of her samfu top. Her hair is neatly pulled back from her face, square-shaped like mine. She looks solemn in her photos, except for the ones where she’s holding me or Kiang, my cousin. Even then, she has just a glimmer of a smile, as if uncertain of what she should do in front of the camera. In her later images she looks wizened, her petite frame reduced further by illness. Yet her arms were strong enough to carry the chubby toddler that was me. Perhaps the ring was resized so it wouldn’t slide off her shrunken finger?

These photos are my only tangible reminders of Por-Por, and now this ring.

“You can have them if you want; take them back with you to England.”

Mum wraps both rings in tissue, stuffing them into a small brocade pouch before pushing it to me across the dining table.

 

Photo by Calwaen Liew on Unsplash

Why Family Stories

 

Story is the umbilical cord that connects us to the past, present, and future. Family. Story is a relationship between the teller and the listener, a responsibility. . . . Story is an affirmation of our ties to one another.” Terry Tempest Williams

 

When I was growing up, my mother would often tell my brothers and me stories of her family. Stories of my grandparents – Kong-Kong and Por-Por – and their emigration from Southern China to colonial Malaya. Stories of my mother’s own childhood, growing up in Penang with her three siblings.

Everyone loves a good story. Even more so when it’s about the people we know well. The family stories I grew up with give me an insight to the people I thought I knew. They capture a moment in time and place. They form a part of my history, my heritage.

It is said that young children in particular greatly benefit from family storytelling. Kids who know a lot about their family’s history are said to have higher self-esteem, a stronger sense of control over their lives. Apparently, knowing that they are part of something bigger than themselves gives them a strong ‘intergenerational self’ and helps them handle challenges better.  They are said to have more robust identities, better coping skills and lower rates of depression and anxiety.

For me, growing up with such stories has led to a quest to learn more about my family history, to help me understand where I come from, to help shape my sense of who I am.

Crucially, it has also motivated me to record and preserve this oral heritage for future generations, which feels particularly important for an immigrant family such as mine. Many of us – not just myself but also siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins – have moved to different parts of the world, away from Malaysia, our birthplace, and from China, my grandparents’ country of birth.

Hence this blogsite, which I’ve set up as a repository of our family stories.  But I use this term broadly, as not everything posted on this site will necessarily be narrative-driven. They could also be snapshots of memories, reminiscences of people and places, reflections of love and loss.

They are all stories personal to me and my family, yet hopefully universal enough to be appreciated by many. In sharing them, I hope to inspire others to seek out and preserve their own family stories.

Sharing family stories can benefit both the storyteller and the recipient; the parent and the child. I’ve spent hours talking with my mother, mining her memories for our family history. It’s not just been an opportunity for me to know her better; it’s also given my mother a voice, a chance to reminisce and talk about her life. Those conversations are truly treasured moments.

In my family, we call our maternal grandmothers Por-Por. I’ve used this familial title in naming this blogsite, to honour my mother whom my son calls Por-Por, and to remember my own Por-Por, who used to tell my mother many of the stories on this site.

Photo credit: Joey You on Unsplash